The best chance England has in Euro 2024 is to not heed Southgate.

Would someone kindly tell a joke? Accepted are dad jokes. When you need Gazza, where is he?

There is too much stress. In this competition, England seems to be moving about the field with sacks of coal. There’s a heavy, somber vibe to it. It is even horrible to watch.

Coach Julien Nagelsmann of Germany talks about playing freely, loving the atmosphere, and savoring the moment. And look! Jamal Musiala is having a ball like he’s playing with the U-12 team from New Malden.

Similarly, Nico Williams and 16-year-old Lamine Yamal—yes, 16—of Spain caused tremendous damage to the Italian defense in Gelsenkirchen with their wide positions left and right. For them, the game did not appear to be a strain. Instead, it was beckoning them, extending an invitation to celebrate. And they celebrated.

Life is tough under Gareth Southgate. Despite all of the talk of unity, camaraderie, and the development of relationships at camp, the experience on the pitch is depressing.

Everyone acts like strangers, unsure of one another and what to do, and in dire need of a leader to step up and take command.

This has been a terrible tournament for Southgate, who has failed to inspire a talented squad. What’s up? asked BBC correspondent John Murray of Kieran Trippier. It’s the million-dollar question.

The answer was a monotone blurt. Four points, top of the group, no need to panic. We stick together.

We can do much better with the talent in this team, etc., etc. What does that mean? England are sleepwalking into a proper shellacking out here. The answer must start with the gaffer.

No organization, no cohesiveness, and no idea. Harry Kane added, pulling out the clichés, “No easy games.” If you are leading the group despite your poor play, it’s a sign of a good team. Really? Could it not be an indication of a badly managed team, a side lacking in rhythm and balance?

Christian Eriksen, the captain of Denmark, remarked, “England didn’t surprise us.” That was not an honorific. He said, “They lost the ball a lot in possession.” “We are sad not to have prevailed.”

Additionally, how. Making Pierre-Emerick Hojbjerg, a Spurs exile, appear to be the best midfield option in a game with Jude Bellingham, Declan Rice, and Phil Foden is quite an accomplishment.

Maybe Wrexham’s James McLean, an Irish TV analyst and longtime troll of English hauteur, is correct. Perhaps we exaggerate our English qualifications. He gave Rice as an illustration. Not top tier, he claimed. It seems to be a fair assessment based on the evidence against Denmark.

Rice is a beast of endurance and a running machine. He does not orchestrate like a Rodri or a Toni Kroos, and he does not tackle and block like Hojbjerg in Frankfurt. Instead, he harries and jockeys.

And what about Kyle Walker, Bukayo Saka, John Stones, Bellingham, Foden, Harry Kane, and so on? Do we really think they are better than everyone in the world, or are they just not meeting our expectations?

When he came in following Sam Allardyce eight years ago, the England prospect was in a far better situation. Despite his apparent leadership abilities, comprehension of group dynamics, and compassionate demeanor, his managerial abilities are not very useful on game day, when players require motivation, guidance, a strategy, and a clear sense of purpose—all of which have been conspicuously lacking.

The best thing we can hope for while playing Slovenia and other teams is that the players own up to their mistakes and figure it out on their own.

Released from Southgate’s oppressive grip, England might still do themselves justice and, consequently, make the experience enjoyable rather than enduring for both of us.

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